Why I can't date ugly men...

Last week, I was speaking to a friend and we were discussing my present dating dilemma - why I can't date ugly men.


Now, let me preface this by saying, my ugly may not be your ugly and vice versa. But most people know a person that is ugly to the general population - and I can't date that ugly mofukka! It doesn't matter how great his personality is, what he drives or how much money he makes! My friend believes that my way of thinking is shallow. She says that if I would bring my specifications down a notch, I may meet someone I really like. She's a pretty boy hater, but I LOVE the pretty boys. I like having the guys that can have any woman.

I understand that pretty boys come with a range of issues. They're usually very cocky and are used to having females cater to them (which is usually where we clash, I'm not a "cater to you" type of woman). Their arrogance is normally off the charts and they expect to receive more than they will give; they are used to getting their way because of their looks. But I just love looking at them and they usually want to be with me - but we never last (re: second sentence of this paragraph).

Now, I'm a very visual person. If you tell me a story, it runs through my head like a movie. I've always been this way- highly visual. When I am actively dating someone, I like to be able to look at him and get horny. I want to think "sex" whenever he smiles. Not because this is all he has to offer, but because I like having that basic carnal attraction. Therefore, I usually steer clear of ugly men. Grant it, their pesonalities are usually more appealing and they are more giving, but if I'm not physically attracted to you...Houston, we have a problem. And we really do have a problem in Houston because attractive men are in limited supply in all races and cultures (I check out everyone, lol).

But again, my friend believes that this is shallow. I say, why settle??? I refuse to believe that every man I find ridiculously attractive will be an arrogant jerk. I'd rather keep looking for a fine guy than settle on someone I find physically not appealing. What do you think?

To be or not to be CELIBATE - that is the question

So I haven't updated this blog forever, but a string of bad dating circumstances, bad sex, and ignorant men have caused me to agonize over a pretty crucial decision - celibacy. Theoretically, celibacy is the best solution for a single female who is concerned and informed about her health. But at the end of the day, this female is human, and sex is an everyday thought. However, I am leaning towards a celibate lifestyle until I find the right guy for me.

What happened, you ask? Not much actually.

One guy gave me 30 minutes of his time and left after he "came".

One guy insenuated that my kitty was open for business to anyone because I didn't answer his midnight text message (I was asleep! He's such a dumb fukk!) - and he's the one I really liked.

Another guy decided to quit talking to me so that he could put in work with my new homegirl. The funny part about that was I really didn't give a shit. All of us eventually went out for lunch together and he spent the whole time reminiscing about me! Way to get another woman dumbass!

But see, these types of things wouldn't bother me had I I kept my legs closed instead of letting these dudes have a taste. I need to spend more time learning the person. How much more time, you ask? How about months? I'm thinking 3 to be exact. The next man will need to put in a minimum of 3 months of hard work to touch the kitty. I have to make sure these people are on the up and up. Unfortunately that's not always full-proof either. I knew 2 out of 3 of the guys mentioned above before I got married. I was married for 5 years and never cheated. So knowing them did not make me immune from being treated any kind of way. So we shall see. Celibacy may be the best answer for me. So if anyone reads this...what do you think? Is celibacy a great idea?

NOTE: Do me a favor, don't get into the health and human services aspect of it all. Just think of it from a general dating stand point.

If you fuck him, he will cum...but will he stay?

I was talking to my most experienced friend earlier today. She's a pro at relationships, dating and sex. I'm a novice. I might as well have sexual Similac on my breath. I wanted to know if it was possible to get a man interested via sex and then turn sex into a relationship. She assured me that it was not possible and it is a really, really, bad idea if I am thinking of trying it. She said that I would only get my feelings hurt.

But I think I want to try it anyway. What can I say? I'm stubborn.

The guy in question is this sexy beast of a man that I know. He's about 6 ft, darker than dark chocolate with smooth skin and a great smile. His body is muscular and looking at him makes me wet. The worst part is that he is a well-mannered gentleman and will be attending med school in the Fall.

We went to high school together and I ran into him at a football game a few months ago. Have you ever met someone and the sexual energy was off the chain? When I'm around him ALL I can think of is sex. I try to ignore it and think of something else but it never works. It affects him too. When he talks to me he can never stay on the subject. Every conversation ends in sex. We'll talk about positions or possible places to pull an "Anytime, Anywhere" a la Janet Jackson. It got so sexually frustrating that I finally asked him one day if he was interested in just doing it with no strings attached. Of course, he was. But we never did. I couldn't. I'd make plans to, I'd say that I was on my way and sometimes I was already on the freeway when I changed my mind. I believed that I would never have the relationship I wanted if I just handed my kittykat to him. But eventually we fell off anyway.

I had no idea how to get him interested and last year I was dealing with serious self-esteem issues and slight depression. I wasn't being myself and couldn't keep anyone interested. Now that I have goals and plans and know what I want out of life and in a man - I don't know how to get him.

I recently had a raunchy dream about him after not thinking about him for months. I decided to send him a text message (and they are STILL the Devil) to let him know that I had a dream about him and wanted to see him again. He called back immediately and said that he wanted to see me that very same night. The weather was crazy so I declined. However, at least now I know that communication is still open between us. So how do I get him? I know that that crazy sexual tension will still be there. But I don't know if that's all he felt or if he wanted more also.

If I finally give him the kittykat, can I move towards a relationship, or is that setting myself up for failure as my friend told me? I really need help with this one, he's such a great catch.

I know that men love the kitty and it takes damn near no effort on a woman's part to make them cum. But can that make them stay?

This Shit Sucks!

So, I totally miss being married. Shhhh...don't tell anyone, especially HIM (the husband in question). I'm learning a lot about men, dating and relationships and would probably be the world's best wife these days. However, I don't think it would work with my ex...he and I have...uh... to many issues...

Anyway, there are a few things I miss that I don't get as a single person...

I don't get to spend someone else's money, I don't get a warm body next to me at night, I don't get good, dependable, safe, thoroughly tested dick (and my ex was damn good in that department), I don't get to go out with someone I know (instead I get dates with "crazies" as I like to call them), I don't get to take care of anyone (never thought I'd miss that), I don't get to be around someone familiar (i.e. someone whose personality/moods I know and can deal with).

I know that you can experience those things with someone new, I mean, it's not the greatest list in the world. Anyone can sleep next to you at night and get on your nerves on a regular basis, but I guess what I miss is being close to someone. Although, to my credit, I've been missing that for a while cause me and the hubby were not close, we were barely friends, hence the reason we're not together.

I mean I've loved and been loved but I would like the full platter, instead of the appetizer. That means I want someone I can be with comfortably. Does that make sense? I would like someone who I'm comfortable with at all times. Someone who I can enjoy and confide in without feeling embarrassed or afraid of what they will think or say.

In the immortal words of LL Cool J...I need love.